I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
