after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
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I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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