Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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