Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
