You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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