watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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