So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
