You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
