Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
please come you make the beer taste better
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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