Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
