oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize