WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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