would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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