it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize