i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
