You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
