then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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