I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize