I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
