just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
