He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
a search helicopter?!
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
