What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
