The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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