It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You dont lie about slip and slides
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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