He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I have tasted many bathrooms
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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