After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
