i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
