Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
