I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
my liver is dry heaving
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
