I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
