If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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