he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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