No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
