you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
