final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
high people should be assigned attendants
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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