weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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