im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
