He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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