I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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