Do you still have your period?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It's official drugs can't kill me
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
