The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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