You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Betty ford says i'm here all night
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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