just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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