I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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