Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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