so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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