Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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