I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
