I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
