you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
