pop tarts are not kleenex
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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