bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
