i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
