Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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