Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
May the power of my ass compel you!!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
