is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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