I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
