Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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