I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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