why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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